After four years my old shitty iPhone finally ate the shitturd.

Now I have a brand new IPHONE 7 for the great price of $519 AFTER TAX. I could have added it to the monthly bill and had my mom pay for it (yes I’m still on my mom’s plan) but I’m a good sun.

The problem is none of my contacts transferred over, so I’m getting texts like “So Chris Hogan’s isn’t looking great” and thinking to myself; Rob is the only person in the world who would text that to anyone.

The only numbers I have memorized

If you could, please text me your number. Better yet, make a game out of it! Send a Rob-like text that doesn’t actually tell me who you are, but can probably guess based on the content. The best one wins a prize.

Thank you.