I have hundreds of different thoughts from my last 12 days spent in Europe that I’m unsure how to compile that information into a thoughtful post about my experience. A trip report is too lengthy and individual topics don’t have enough meat. I’ll layout experiences in a few posts after traveling in Amsterdam, Netherlands, the ouskirts of Germany, Innsbruck, Austria and Venice, Italy.
The Serving Mindset
I stood in front of an Italian woman on a small tourist island of Murano known for glass blowing trying to order spaghetti Carbonara. I was her only customer at noon on a Monday. Being a lone traveler can be boring sitting at a table because you generally play with your phone, so it’s not that enticing for me to do so compared to “takeaway”. I stand in front of her patiently waiting with the menu in my hand to point out what I want because she doesn’t speak English. I wait a minute while her head is down looking at what appears to be a schedule. I’m 2 feet in front of her, a desk between us, and she’s purposely not looking up. After what felt like 15 minutes, but was probably 2, I said, “Can I order?” I point to the menu, she looks annoyed, and I sit back down. She brings out the meal, I eat, and pay. The cost was 16 Euro for the dish and a beer and I gave her 16 + 4. This is a huge tip and she was instantly happy. Italians don’t tip. If she knew she was getting a tip would she have offered better service? Was she “rude” to me because I was a foreigner? Or is this standard service? The way the tipping culture has lost its purpose in the US, would it change peoples attitudes in Europe? I tend to think she doesn’t like foreigners.
The NFL
You want to watch NFL on a Sunday? There were zero public televisions in Venice that aired it. The time difference is one factor, but for the most part, they don’t care. My German connection says it’s getting huge in Germany, but that’s not how they consume the product, they watch in their homes. I laugh when I consider how our restaurants are set up with 25 TV’s, huge environments, and people engaged in sports. Perhaps with soccer, they will jam a bar, but that’s a sport they care about. I feel like a total stranger when I’m sitting at an Irish Pub on Sunday at 7pm streaming RedZone and they have rugby on the TV. “Bars” are a rarity because when I think of a bar, I think of meeting people. Europeans don’t want to meet foreigners, they want to engage with their friends in these public places. That’s not to say you can’t meet strangers, I do and did, but it requires effort being an outsider. Sports with strangers, a connection us Americans enjoy, is not the same.
You’re Not Like Them
A boat operator asked an Asian, “what station?”, when we were in Murano and he said “Venice.” The guy replied with “Istanbul, Paris, Rome?” The correct answer was “Fondamente Nove”. An Italian woman seeing this interaction spoke some English explaining he was asking what station, not what city, and the Asian hardly spoke a word of English so it didn’t matter. They acted annoyed he didn’t know and I would have said Venice too. On one hand I felt bad, on the other, he only knows he doesn’t understand any of it. I’ve felt this quite a few times. You look at them dumb and put your hands up because there is nothing you can do.
When a European sees an American in Venice, you’d think it’s unclear if they know you’re American because you’re the same descent, but you’re wrong, we don’t look the same. They also know the moment you open your mouth with ciao, buongiorno, morgen, or hallo, you’re not from here. That immediate interaction sets the tone for the conversation. They will be catering to you. That’s not to say they aren’t nice. I went to buy a pen in Venice at a store that was tiny so the interaction was instant. This lovely Italian girl approaches and I asked if she spoke English and she did. We spent the next few minutes going over the differences of the pens and it was a great sales experience on top of the fact she was smoking. So they can be nice if you’re giving them money.
Whereas Americans can be friendly with other Americans for the sake of being friendly, Europeans aren’t like this. They despise the question, “how are you?”, because they think it’s fake. Do you really care? However, I’ve made a few strong connections with friends and strangers. I have a friend in Innsbruck where his wife and I talked for hours about our lives and it was wonderful. A Dutch man who ran the BeerTemple and I talked for 2 hours about politics, business, and people. It was delightful talking to him and his staff about their viewpoints. However that was Amsterdam and they spoke English, try doing that in Italy in a small bistro. It’s literally impossible if you don’t speak their language. This makes you a foreigner and it’s not a feeling you want to have for days on end. You want to get back to your people even if they are dumb, obese, and uncultured. Being in that Philly airport yesterday was disgusting after seeing Europeans for almost two weeks. Our lack of well being is embarrassing. However, this is us. I’d rather try to change us for the better than to accept a different country where you’ll never be one of them. Our people take for granted what our ancestors built. Visit cities that are centuries older being infiltrated with immigrants who don’t accept their culture and then tell me how you feel about immigration. I stand today as a proud American, one who represents our country with dignity, integrity, honesty, and a foundation to stand on. If more people aimed to strive for these qualities, I think we’d be better off.
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