Construction workers do not give a fuck about “NO PARKING” signs.
This is evident by the 100 rotating construction workers who park right beneath the “NO PARKING” sign at Stortz Tools every single day. The reason it’s no parking there is because we bring in deliveries from that door all the time, and aren’t able to do so when cars are parked there.
We’ve attempted to stop this in multiple ways.
- Simply telling people “don’t park there” doesn’t work because when they leave the next guy comes.
- Calling the PPA has largely not worked, as they don’t come by with any consistency.
- An orange cone with “NO PARKING” written on it and placed in the spot has been our best idea yet.
Today, however, someone overruled the cone and moved it to the side walk so they could park there.
I went outside, angry, and said to some foreman “Is this your guy? They can’t park here. I hate calling the PPA but you guys leave me no choice, all we need is this one space to be open, that’s why the cone is there!“
He gave me the usual “it’s okay, I’ll tell my guy and he’ll move“. Two hours later, the guy moved, I put the cone back in the spot, and things felt better.
THEN, the SAME CAR came back, moved the cone, and parked there again.
I came out guns blazing yelling how I just told them to not park there, called the PPA in front of all of them (I’m a snitch and I do not give one single fuck about it), then finished by saying “I hate to do it, I don’t like to be the asshole, but I don’t know what else to do because you guys don’t care“.
The guy moved his car, the cone was reinstated, but the damaged was done. 30 minutes later the PPA actually showed up and ticketed all of the cars along our front walk that were parked in the no parking zone. I was happy.
But someone apparently wasn’t happy.
This young man expressed his frustrating by VANDALIZING our cone.
Jeff said to me “Sam I think someone wrote on your cone“. Um, what. What do you mean ‘wrote on it‘? What in holy hell is going on.
I went outside to see. Lo and behold, our cone:
I had to laugh. It’s like a kid on the playground saying “I know you are but what am I” over and over. There’s no comeback to it. You just have to move on. I’d say he won the battle by owning me in front of everyone, but I won the war because he got a ticket.
Also worth noting that while this guy did get ticketed, he wasn’t the guy I singled out for moving the cone twice.
My plan tomorrow is to put the cone out with the “Eat A Dick” facing outward for everyone to see and embrace the joke. No hard feelings brother! Just respect the cone.
Call the PPA everyday! EVERY! FUCKING! DAY! I swear to Christ! You god dammed better do this! Make it the reason you wake up in the morning. Get excited! Buy the PPA person some snacks and some sodas, cause our temp’s in the 80s now, and incentivize them to come back… frequently. Get on a first name basis with them and the PPA operators. You’re in sales, no? Fucking sell it! “Your call yourself a salesman, you sonofabitch”. You tried the carrot, now it’s time for the stick. Your post history references “cucks” and “betas” more than any other blog, so which one are you in this story? Want a hint, the answer’s C: All of the above. Ok, that’s not necessary; but fuck their wives, don’t sit in the corner and watch. For real though.
I gotta see the no parking signs. Are they legit city signs or beta Stortz “you pwease no park here” signs? Honestly, defacing the cone was the nice thing to do, coulda smashed that window. Go out on the street and paint some yellow stripes so they know it’s no parking. Real life parking wars, can’t wait. Maybe the guys are pissed that your Dad stole a pair of their jeans…
It’s a full on, city-issued, “NO PARKING ANY TIME” sign that is clear as day in front of our building. It’s been there for 100 years and it’s never been a problem until these construction crews started working here because they don’t know where to park.
Sam, fantastic comment, you’ve inspired me. I am NOT a beta cuck!