I’ve been experimenting with talking reeeeaaaaaaallllll slow. That’s clearly an exaggeration, but the idea is that that the speed you talk has a lot to with how people perceive you. To break down the benefits of talking slow:

  • You force people to listen to you because you’re so slow and they don’t want to be bored
  • What you say sounds important because it takes so long to speak it
  • You say less stupid comments because you’re hardly making any…because you’re talking so slow
  • You get all this extra time to think because the words are hardly coming out so you should be more intelligent in discussion

Stories from slow talkers start like this, “when i was your age…” This is what we’re trying to avoid. We want to only talk when we have something smart to say. This could take days. In the meantime while you’re thinking of the next pearl of wisdom, ask questions. Pertinent questions are a good way to give yourself time and you can even come across smarter by asking questions that they want to answer. No one ever cares what the other person thinks. Only what they think.

The only person this doesn’t apply to is Ben Shapiro who when he gets on a roll steam starts coming out of his ears.

I haven’t tried this tactic enough to know how well founded this experiment is, but I have a feeling it’s brilliant. Best case scenario is the other person gets bored and leaves you alone. Win win. If it doesn’t work, just go back to being your dumb old, blathering, idiot of a self.