I’ve always paid for people to work on my car. If you’re going to say I didn’t put the right kind in, you’re wrong, I used 10-W-30. That scene strikes me when I consider flying down a turnpike at 80mph’s knowing my life is in my own hands. I trust the professionals and I’ve been using the dealership I bought the car in Turnersville, NJ. They charge about 3x more than the mechanic next to us used to charge but c’est la vie.

I had a 7:30 appointment today and knew my car was a mess. Birds had shat on it through the weekend and you could see I did the best I could to wipe the big shit off so it was streaking like a bad pair of undies. You can see by the picture this is a professional organization. Money making minds have put their time and energy on taking as much loot from you as possible while putting a smile on your face. I didn’t want to look like a total schmuck disrespecting my car with shit stains and a low gas tank. I was unsure of the consequence of bringing in a dirty vehicle.

I’ll ruin the ending to this story but everything was fine. A 20 year old greeted me with a smile so wide that he had to be on some killer drugs. After his service spiel he concluded by asking me if I wanted to get the car wash. What a fucker. The only other funny part was telling me the work that needed to be done and was asking if I wanted the throttle body aligned? Dude, do I look like I know what a throttle body is? For $140 if the car is going to explode because I say no, I’m going to say yes. I did decline the alignment which sounded completely bogus. If I say no to that is the car going to drive me off the road? Doubtful.

It did significantly bother me that these people would judge me by the presence of my car. They know you’re a shitty person by the way you keep your car. It’s the same with your house. If it’s a mess, it’s possible you’re not a mess, but people will undoubtedly think you’re a mess. I didn’t even mention the low gas tank. There are only two reasons to have a low gas tank and it’s if you’re lazy or you’re poor and neither is becoming. It’s a cruel world out there. Gas up!