I post really funny stuff. New funny posts starting today. Every Wednesday. Every Wednesday. Rain or shine, there is going to be a new funny blog post. (if anyone other than Sam knows where this comes from, good on you.)
I hit a nice drive on 10 and had 100 yards in. I yanked it into the sand pin high thinking all I had to do was put it on the green for an easy par. I remember Bud and I talking about my poor sand game and how I shouldn’t be scared to commit to blasting it. I committed to this one so much I hit ball first and sailed it 20 yards out of bounds. I wanted to break my sand wedge over my thigh but then thought some shrapnel would hit me in the eye leaving me blinded like Modi from Top Boy (anyone watch?). I wondered how a monk would handle this.
2 Chapters In
I started a book preaching monk like qualities lead to a more fulfilling life. Essentially giving up all possessions, helping people, and meditation. Considering all I care about are fancy whips, selfish pride, and ragging on losers who breathe funny, this was going to be tough.
After the printer jammed for the 12th time today, I thought again how a monk would handle this. My first thought was to take the printer out to a field and destroy it.
I hope you’re getting the message that a monk in Tibet who lives on a hill in a hut may have an easier time not letting the world get to him. But you’re the one choosing this and how you react! I’m not choosing that my packages get robbed because USPS leaves packages at night under a sign that says don’t leave packages at night. Or a customer needs his tool next day air after our UPS came to pick up for the day. Or a tourist leaves their car under a no parking sign for 24 hours in front of our main door. Or the car parked behind me pulls out directly into my bumper when exiting. Or that Click2Pay causes errors, Clarity can’t connect, and the new Zebra printer doesn’t print the shipment doc on the bottom of the label. I could write 1,000 of these.
This leads to a quick paragraph on alcohol because I’m fairly certain the stress of these days leads me to drink heavily when I get the chance. I’m not a daily drinker. I’m a binge drinker when the opportunity presents itself. I’m well aware of the dangers of alcohol, but once that sip of one drink touches your lips, any concern for safety is gone. This is a bad habit which leads to late nights endin’ alone, conversations with strangers I barely know, wide eyes staring into space, and I know I lose control of the things I say. These nights are still fun but the aftermath of the hangover is unbearable because it wastes productive days and these days are becoming limited once you hit mid-life. When drinking is needed to kill the hangover, you’re in trouble. It’s challenging to live this un-monk like lifestyle because it affects my day to day in the “real” world of being the person people expect me to be.
The monk in me is now forgoing the world. We quit bowling which was a very hard decision as it was another bad habit that lead no where for 8 years. With bowling freeing up 2 nights, I’m going to change my ways and start a new habit that hopefully isn’t bad. They’re all bad by the way, but maybe after reading the book I’ll find one that’s less bad. I won’t do politics. I can’t add more to business. Fitness isn’t worth considering as I’m already relatively fit. Gambling is out. What more is there to do?
I’m not sure where this is going to lead. This fall feels like the rat race is propelling another year forward and I’m not running around the wheel again. I’ve ran around it enough. To the people who can keep going around feeling happy, accomplishing made up tasks, watching TV, and wasting life away, I’m writing now I’m done.