When people think of the worst day of their life, they probably come up with answers like “When I was diagnosed with cancer. When my whole family died. 9/11.” But physically speaking, yesterday was actually the worst day of my life.


  • I don’t want to slander, but I got a seafood salad from SOMEWHERE on Tuesday at 6:00pm.
  • At 9:00pm my stomach started to hurt. Mild at first, but worse every minute.
  • At 10:00pm I puked A LOT. Obviously something was wrong. I tried to go to bed
  • At 11:30pm or I was tossing and turning, ultimately getting up to puke again.
  • At 1:00am I woke up writhing in pain from my stomach. Legit the worst stomach pain I’ve ever had. I imagined it’s what dying of starvation feels like. I got up and took my first of many diarrheas.
  • This happened a few more times until 4:00am where I pooped myself in my sleep. I don’t know what happened, I basically diarrhea’d a tiny bit while asleep and instantly shot up and ran to the bathroom.
  • At 8am I bought Gatorade and tried to drink it intermittently.
  • The rest of the day was a cycle of napping for about an hour, then waking up for 30 minutes, pooping, complaining about my stomachache and headache, then going back to bed.
  • Around 2pm I got too ambitious and puked up all the Gatorade I drank because I tried to drink too much at once.
  • By dinner time I managed two crackers, two pieces of cantaloupe, and a bite or so of a banana.
  • I went to bed at midnight with no stomachache but still a killer headache.

I woke up today still having a bad headache. I’m able to eat and drink now though which is a plus and I’m hoping some ibuprofen kicks in to help.

I’d never had food poisoning. I thought it was for losers. But this was legit one of the worst physical experiences I’ve ever had. There hasn’t been one pleasant moment in the last 36 hours.