This Thursday Meghan and I made the impossible decision to put Covy down. He hadn’t been himself since June and after multiple inconclusive vet exams, it was clear his condition was getting worse.
On Tuesday I checked on him in our basement, that’s when it hit me; we’re not talking weeks or months here, we’re talking days. And it was just so sad. All he knew was that he didn’t feel well and walking was harder than it used to be.
We made sure to spend as much time as we could with him in his last few days, making him comfortable, giving him pets, etc. On Thursday night, we took him in, had our final moments, and said goodbye. I cried every day leading up to Thursday, especially a lot on Thursday, and every day since. Sometimes just absolutely weeping. It was the saddest I’ve been maybe in my entire life; certainly in the last decade or so that I can recall.
Obviously I know we will move on emotionally. It’s Sunday and the sting isn’t nearly as bad as before. But you feel a sense of guilt for trying to get over it. We still have to clean up his spaces in the basement, and I haven’t done it because it feels like it becomes permanent then. What we have now are the pictures, videos, and memories, but that’s a heck of a lot actually.
It seems silly that a cat can have this impact, but I’ve had him for the last 8.5 years. He and Melon have been my steady companions through my mid-20s to today. In a sense I’m happy that I can develop such a bond with an animal that I feel this way at their death. Those emotional connections are what makes life worth living.
Anyway, I wanted to write this because it’s a significant life event. Not practically speaking, honestly not much will change in my day-to-day life, but emotionally speaking. Give your pets some extra love today. It may feel like they’ll always be there, but time moves fast. And if you don’t have a pet, maybe get a cat. Even if you aren’t a cat person, you may be surprised! Just ask Meghan.
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