I’ve had a cuck haircut my whole life. In 9th grade I shaved my head bald for the cross country team and was relentlessly made fun of because I have an oblong skull. Every time I went for a haircut I did the same boring thing.

That all changed about three months ago when I tried to cut my own hair and got the result you see in the feature image.

The next day I went to DAPR in Rittenhouse and got my first swag haircut. The only issue is that it was $50 freakin’ dollars not including tip. I liked the cut, but $50 seemed too pricey.

This leads me to Friday. I stopped in to V’s Barbershop on second street. The guy in front of me when I walked in was Claude freakin’ Giroux. He just had his hair cut and I was being taken by the same person who cut his hair. This had to be a good sign.

For just $30 I got a swag-ass haircut, a neck shave with shaving cream(!), a hot towel, and a back massage with some massage machine. After a lifetime of cuck haircuts, I finally found my spot.