Running? LAME.

Getting JACKED? LAMER!!

It’s time to welcome in Sam the CYCLIST!

My plan for getting JACKED was thwarted by a shoulder injury.

My plan for running again is taking forever and I don’t even think it’s going to work.

So now, I’m going the megacuck route and considering becoming a cyclist. I need SOME sort of exercise in this down time and this seems like the obvious choice.

Additionally, I have a connection who has a bike lying around that he said I could use for a few MONTHS to see how I like everything.

Three things I’m worried about:

• Biking in traffic. I know Gourlay wants to get hit by a car and die on his bike, but I don’t.
• Finding a helmet that will fit my huge head. Size 100.
• Impressing girls. A helmet, sunglasses, and knee pads? Might as well stamp LOW-T BETA CUCK on your forehead.

What are some rules I need to know to make this change? Is this a mistake? I have a feeling I’ll stick out like a sore thumb once I get out there. Help me.