I have good news. This post will solve dating apps and I’m giving the idea away for free.

You may be asking yourself what I even know about the modern dating scene. I’ve been off the apps for nearly three years (congratulations (thank you (you’re welcome))). Things have changed you say!

But some things never change. Under exactly 5’8? Good luck. Offer to split the check on the first date when she’s suckin’ down $30 oysters and chugging $18 cocktails? Seeyuhlater. Some things never change. And this idea is a winner.

What’s the Problem? CONVERSATION!

Starting the conversation on a dating app is brutal. It’s one liners or comments about a dog. Apps try to ease this by offering prompts, but it’s difficult to emulate real conversation. Respond too quickly and you’ll come off as desperate. But wait too long and they’ll think you’re not interested! What the fuck are we doing here?!

That’s where my idea comes in…

CAN YOU LAST FIVE MINUTES

In CAN YOU LAST FIVE MINUTES, once matched with someone, you have FIVE MINUTES to talk to them, then the match is gone forever. That’s it. There’s no waiting around crafting the perfect response. There’s no being weirded out because someone wrote back in 10 seconds. This is first-date-think-on-your-feet stuff, which is how people actually are. If you’re interested, fucking act like it.

There are plenty of tweaks to work with like if the match expires and both people agree you can have another five minutes, or the conversation begins at a specified time since it may match when you’re not at your phone, or there’s an on-the-spot prompt to start the convo. But the core of the idea… five minutes… is there.

Now you can poo-poo the idea by just saying “once you exchange numbers and start texting off the app isn’t the dating game is still the same?“. Can’t argue there! But getting started is step one. Five minutes baby. Take it to the bank.