I Beat Him Up

The title should be “if”, but that wouldn’t get you to read.

A high school kid with a backpack on was walking across the parking lot where I get my bacon, egg, and cheese from Manhattan Bagel. He was 16, small, and scrawny. If I stopped my car, got out, and punched him in the stomach, it would be an unexpected start to his day. Would he fight back? I can take a 16 year old, right? Just on old man strength alone I don’t even think he could hurt me if I let him hit me. So he’d probably get hit, fall down, and he’d have to hope I didn’t kick him a bunch more times while he was on the ground. That’s how I envisioned it anyway. Perhaps he could run, but with that backpack full of books (or do they not have them anymore?), and my reasonable speed, I don’t think it would be a great strategy. I wonder what he’d tell his friends? Unfortunately, the realistic outcome is some Newtown cop could easily hunt me down because my car would be on video in the parking lot.

How did I come up with this scenario? I watched a movie called Kneecap on Netflix which was about the Irish language becoming extinct. 2 lads raised by their rebellious father who lead a life of drugs create some Irish rap music and it’s a fun movie that doesn’t drag on too long and ties together decently. There was one scene where some older chaps beat them up and I couldn’t help wondering when the older guys decide to stop pummeling away. We want to hurt them but do we want to scar or injure them permanently? How could you even know? Then there’s this one scene where this lady is whacking away with some Irish baton and the guy gets a bloody nose. In real life that would be mashing his skull.

I guess this leads to me becoming a modern day Batman who beats up high school kids. Just not enough to really hurt them. Only to prove a point that I still can. Unless I can’t. That movie may be even better.