Meg and I were watching Love is Blind: Germany and one of the couples were having an argument that went like this:
Girl – “We don’t communicate. You never talk to me!“
Guy – “What, you want me to like, ask you about your day or something?“
He said that implying that asking about your day was stupid, shallow talk. This naturally leads to the famous Seinfeld clip:
Given that this episode is 30 years old, the trope of meaningless marriage talk has been around for decades, if not centuries or even millennia!
But I’m here to fight for the other side! Maybe I’m naive because we’ve only been married for 7 months, but on my drive home today Meghan and I did our usual “how was your day” talk. It occurred to me today given the Love is Blind episode that we do this pretty much every day, and I know it sounds unbelievable, but I actually like those conversations.
I hate generalizing as every person / couple is unique, but maybe that’s a good measuring stick of a relationship; If you can’t stand the ‘how was your day‘ talk, then break it off ASAP. I’m sure there are some people, like the Love is Blind guy, who think ALL ‘how was your day‘ talk is fake and boring, but maybe it’s because that guy sucks. For OTHER people, however, it can be a genuinely nice part of the day.
Women are different than Men, vice versa. A guy asking how his spouses day was is an invite into their day, what happened, what mundane little things occurred, who pissed them off, etc. women tend to want to give details. Part of that is listening, adding context or color where appropriate, and letting that lead into other conversations. It’s an open ended question that sparks further conversation. That said, back to my first point, men and women are different; it’s how I can spend hours with the same people on the golf course but couldn’t tell my wife what we spoke about – not because it’s taboo or pussy-grabbin locker room talk, but because we’re out having fun; we’re golfing, not solving relationship issues don’t feel like using the little time we have together to bitch about shitty things that are going on in our lives, or get into deeper conversations. Meanwhile, and i guarantee you, Meg’s female friends know what your dick looks like. It’s the details; men tend to be more topical while women prefer details. Allow the opportunity to give details about their day, happier marriage/relationship. That, and genuinely caring does make it easier (and fun)