How long could a trip to the bank take in Corona land? 10 minutes? 30 minutes? An hour?

lulz-smiley - Roblox

To be fair, I knew it was going to be long. A week earlier I was a part of the molasses line before exiting due to lack of patience.

The Scene

10:16 am – Notice how the cars split into 2. There are 2 drive thru areas where you can make the transaction. One with the sliding electronic drawer and the other is the Tommy Boy mail chute.

I’m pro 2 lines where the people choose their line. Some people get screwed when Granny has 8,000 pennies to count, but I can’t think of a much fairer way.

Can you see what the black car is doing? He’s waiting before he picks which of the two. This isn’t his first rodeo. I’ll guess there are 2 cars in front of me which puts me at about car #11 or #12 of this line.

10:28 – 12 minutes and I’m already into the merge. Seems reasonable, right? Notice that I’m not choosing a lane here. It’s clear that I’ll be on the right side, but I was baiting people who may want to sneak into the spot from behind to make a point for this post of this scoundrel move. See the long line behind in my mirror forming? They are salivating at the chance of speeding to my right and trying to usurp me. I promise you people see this as an opportunity and will not believe in the equality of line forming.

10:32 – Only 2 cars in front of me and it’s been 16 minutes. Myself and the blue car are most likely perpendicular at this point which makes me feel like I cucked him. He’s probably cursing at me looking over like a road race. I’m feeling positive.

10:50 – WHOA! Blue car makes a huge pass! I’m caught flat footed as I witness the extraordinary. Land Rover in front of me uses the chute, teller completes the transaction and sends the chute back…AND THEN LAND ROVER RE-CHUTES! Expert move in maximum inconsideration tactics. I was stunned I almost slammed into their bumper to push him through to the goal line.

I should have taken a final photo of a sad dog face but you get the point. I put the pedal to the medal around 11pm completing the 45 minute stint at the bank.

What’s Wrong Here?

Who still physically goes to the bank? Many businesses still use physical checks to pay bills. When you collect checks, you form a deposit and go to the bank. This can be done electronically, except PNC wants $500 a year to set you up to do this. I save the $500, drive the 5 minutes, and make the deposit as it’s nice to get out of the office to boot.

Now we’re past why I have to go, the next question is how do 12 cars take 45 minutes with 2 tellers? That’s about 7.5 minutes per transaction which is absurd. If I had to guess, it’s the people, not the tellers, who make bad time because they are not prepared. My transaction took less than 3 minutes. The person in front of me took 15. If the people are prepared properly, I think this wouldn’t be as much as a problem.

Also, 2 tellers are not enough. I was trying to think how to get a 3rd teller working because when you go to a bank they usually have 4 windows at a minimum. When you are at 2 during these times, of course there is going to be a hold up. Hey PNC! Create a 3rd line somewhere. Use that money I was reading about in the deal with Blackrock and put it to use by adding one more hole in the wall where people can slip you transactions.’

Waiting for Jennifer Love Hewitt’s boobs to jiggle in I Know What You Did Last Summer is a childhood dream. This gif was going to sum up the bank waiting process…but then I decided to add a few more for good measure.