Clickbait title! Covy and Melon are fine. But CovyandMelon may not be!

When I was younger, Bansheemann7 was my username for everything. It made no sense. Banshee was the name of my first bike, mann was because I was the mann, and 7 was because bansheemann was already taken.

But after a decade or so that name had run its course. Around 2017 I decided I needed a change. So when I made my chess.com account, my playstation account, and a few others, I pivoted to what else but CovyandMelon.

I was proud that my username went away from a selfish description of myself to instead focusing on my cats. When cucks in COD ask “What’s covy and melon…“, I sheepishly reply “they’re my cats…” and then they don’t say anything back.

But the issue with making a username based on your animals is that animals die. Covy and Melon are both six years old right now. They’ll probably be gone within the next 10 years. What do I do then?

For a few years after they’re gone the name will hold, but what about when I get new cats? What about when I’m showing my kids my chess stats in 30 years? I’ll barely remember these two!

So then what do I do? Do I create a new chess.com account when my cats die? Do I name it after my new cats or do I pick an evergreen name? I’d lean evergreen because changing irrelevant usernames is a hassle.

But you don’t want to be boring! I can’t just make it samstortz1. You need to be clever! I’ll have to brainstorm some potential new names. Suggestions welcome.

Or maybe I don’t change it at all. Maybe CovyandMelon dies when I die. I don’t know.

These are the things they don’t teach you as a kid. When you’re 12, pussyblaster@hotmail.com is a funny email address, but when you’re 20 and that’s still around it’s embarrassing.

As a bonus here are some horrible usernames from my childhood.

  • Mr. Owl – SOF
  • Shescobar – Diablo
  • Thebattlecryer37 – Warcraft (this is the worst one)
  • Speedydoor44 – AOL
  • Borax – XBL
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