I’ve been developing a character named Edgar Allan Foe who gets into fights with people for absolutely no reason. He starts his attacks with rhymes from Edgar Allan Poe poems, like, “Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary… I thought up a little theory, of how to beat up Kevin O’Leary.”
That’s the entire premise. He randomly picks a foe and starts a fight. It’s practically ready for film. There are a plethora of poems to pull from and an infinite number of foes. The only question is how much of an asshole EAF should be. I said was!
I considered whether I wanted to share this idea with my blog audience and risk someone stealing it. Then I started laughing at the thought of who I’m even sharing this with.
I recently gained my cousin Brandon as an Instagram follower. He’s 18, and we employed him over the summer, so technically I’m his boss. What’s he think of the supposed mastermind behind this company presenting Edgar Allan Foe as one of his best ideas?
I’d rank it right up there with my 15-story bar concept, where you have to finish a drink on each floor before moving up. The drunkest people ultimately end up at the top, assuming they can hang. Another amazing idea. I wouldn’t even be mad if someone stole either one.
The true reality is that I have some leftover Asian food (I think that’s what they like to be called), technically sushi, that’s been sitting in my fridge for a day. I took it out, wasn’t sure if it was still edible, and decided to microwave it. I have no idea whether it should be in there for 15 seconds or a minute, or whether the plate I’m using is going to melt.
This is the mind behind Edgar Allan Foe.
People create reels and TikToks to engage with their audience, not lengthy blocks of text. Fortunately, I don’t care about the popular means of disseminating content. Only that I’m making you read this nonsense right now.
Don’t forget to watch I Think You Should Leave, Brandon.
Oddly enough, I’ve had somewhat random people come up to me and ask how my blood pressure is. Meaning they’ve seen some of the stories I’ve published. It always catches me off guard because I assume no one watches. Not that it bothers me, but apparently people see this stuff and remember it.
The answer is that it’s always bad, and I’m not taking corrective steps. Bud asked whether I’ve gotten readings during periods of not drinking, and I looked at him like he was crazy.
I only laugh because I keep gaining new people from Instagram, and I can only imagine what they think when they read my posts.
“I thought that guy was successful.”
Nope. Just an idiot who creates Edgar Allan Foe.
Recent Comments