City Fitness in Northern Liberties is a great gym. The staff takes their jobs seriously – the towelettes are always stocked for wiping down machines, they hand out fresh sweat towels every session, there are dozens of trainers available, and the equipment is heavy-duty. Even when it’s crowded, you can almost always find what you need.

I’d guess they have a few thousand members, maybe around 2,500, which at roughly $100 a month would mean about $250,000 in membership revenue alone per month, not including everything they bring in from classes.

However, I do have one major complaint: the people glued to their phones.

I understand the gym contains better looking people than the local bar, yet, people have turned gym time into rec time, when it should be exercise time. How long does one person need to be on a machine? What I see is that someone will do a set, then scroll on their phone for 3 minutes, then do another set. Why are they entitled to that machine for 3 minutes while they scroll? These people give no thought that other people may want to use the machine they are on. If everyone rotated quickly off a machine, there’d never be any line. How long does it take to do a set on any one machine? 1 minute? You could get 5 people on one machine instead of 1.

People who do this are non playable characters in my game of life. Like the actors in the Truman Show. What fascinates me most is the sheer lack of empathy for other gym-goers. There’s a selfish assumption that they are Truman – the center of the universe – and that everyone else should simply work around them. But in my world, they’re far from Truman. I’m Truman!

It makes me question whether these people have the basic discipline that contributes to being successful in anything. If you can’t recognize that someone else wants to use the machine you’re monopolizing while you scroll your feed, what else in life are you missing?

I wrote a similar post years ago, and someone commented that I shouldn’t be a curmudgeon. At the time, I accepted that critique. Now? Not so much. The more we normalize this kind of inconsiderate behavior, the more we slide into a lazy, self-absorbed society filled with NPC gym-goers who treat the weight room like their personal waiting room. *that’s a bomb ChatGPT line btw*

I’ve actually daydreamed about creating a no-phone gym. Sure, maybe only 5% of City Fitness members would join, but I’d bet that 5% would be a far higher caliber of human being. I’d call it Hit & Quit — a gym where you get in, get your work done, and get out. If someone so much as glances at their phone on the floor, they get a penalty: 50 burpees before they’re allowed to continue their workout.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: No one wants that kind of pressure. No one wants to be in a gym where they can’t retreat into their mental escape hatch and scroll mindlessly between sets. But here’s where I channel Harland Williams in There’s Something About Mary: you can’t get a great workout while you’re on your phone. It’s impossible. Physically, mentally, rhythmically – the phone destroys the whole point of being there.

But honestly, this isn’t even about phones. It’s about respect. Respect for your fellow gym-goers. Respect for shared space. Respect for the idea that your time isn’t more important than anyone else’s.

That’s the real heart of this whole post. Sitting on a machine for minutes at a time scrolling isn’t just inefficient – it’s inconsiderate. Rotating quickly would benefit everyone if everyone participated. But it’s the classic human problem: “If no one else is doing it, why should I?” And that mindset is exactly how we end up with a room full of NPC gym campers instead of people actually working out.

Fix that underlying issue – that lack of awareness, reciprocity, and communal responsibility – and maybe we wouldn’t just have a better gym experience. We’d have a better world.

I’m curious if people read this post in my voice or through AI? I think it improved the post without losing my original voice. Thoughts?