I’m not a bullshitter. I said I was going to become a cyclist, so I went out and got a god damn bike. Ain’t she pretty?

But there’s one problem with the bike.

I rode it 15 minutes on Tuesday and my butt is too sore to ride it again. Unlike Charlie Baileygates, my ass has NOT taken a pounding over the years.


I tried to take it for a spin around the block the next day and literally couldn’t get on it. Putting my weight on my butt bone was too painful.

It’s been three days and I feel recovered, but that first ride was only 15 minutes! I was planning on doing an hour this weekend. That’s going to knock me on my ass for a week+ no doubt.

Do I pad the seat like a cuck? Do I need to do more squats? Does this just go away after five times?

These are the things I was worried about in my first post. No one warned me you needed a huge ass to comfortably ride a bike.