I haven’t blogged in a week.

In the past my lack of posting has been for a variety of reasons – lack of a chair, lack of a song to write to, not enough mind altering substances, etc. – but I’ve uncovered the REAL reason why the blog has slowed down: MY SHITTY COMPUTER

I bought my shitty laptop in 2015 after I absolutely SMASHED my $800 laptop when Peyton Manning threw his third straight touchdown pass to Julius Thomas, both of whom I was playing against in Fantasy Football. This shitty laptop has been great. For $300, it’s lasted far longer than I hoped.

But I’ve been living in the stone age. I need a real desktop computer with two, maybe three, monitors.

And I’m not looking for just any computer, I need this computer to be able to play the newest Diablo with the best graphics on one screen while watching VR PORN on the other screen. Is that so much to ask for?

And it’s not just a new computer! But a new desk and a real chair. I need an actual computer set up.

So as I always do, I’m turning to my faithful readers. What’s the best computer / desk / chair you can recommend?

Money is an afterthought when it comes to the health of the blog. My current computer set up is bread and water. My new set up needs to be Gatorade, burgers, turds, cocaine, etc. all mixed into one.

What do you got? Help me.