Vince Quinn on WIP brought up a Tweet that said, “paper towels are better than napkins.” I agree more than how awesome this bee saving his boy from a hornet is.

I drive with a napkin over my coffee cup lid. Whenever I hit a bump, the coffee spills out the top and the napkin absorbs the liquid. That napkin gets soaked through by the end of my 5 minute commute. This is my one useful need for a napkin.

Recently I ate a Pepperoni Pizza at South Bowl. 5.6 pizza. It was fairly greasy and grease on hands for bowling is a no-no. There are 8 slices, I used 6 napkins. I knew it was wasteful, but what was I going to do, roll with a greasy hand? I don’t think so, pal. If there was one paper towel, I would have conserved paper.

It’s the make up. The napkin is an antiquated design. It’s cheap. It’s small. Its absorption rate is inferior. Not all paper towels are great though. I prefer the Bounty Brand and their thick woven nature. You think anyone wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I’m wearing these bad boys? Forget about it.

If you see these, run for the hills.

When I go to a restaurant and it looks like this, I know it’s going to be a good meal. This paper towel brand looks lousy but the concept is there. Putting it all together is truly where it’s at, but at least this is the right direction.

I tell myself, Tom, don’t be a napkin hater. There is more to life than getting caught up on the ineffective nature of napkins. I can’t do it though. A product as shitty as the penny deserves to be criticized. Only paper ones though. I’d never put a paper towel on my lap at dinner. That’s hillbilly.

Proper finishing of this post with a scorpion vs a spider.