The first time I smoked weed was the summer of 2010, going into sophomore year of college. I was at a party with a bunch of high school friends and I just stood around a table in a kitchen high and drunk and didn’t say much.

The last time I was high was the first time I watched the door open scene from I Think You Should Leave. I watched it 20 times in a row and couldn’t speak I was laughing so hard.

In the 10 years between I’ve smoked probably a dozen or so times. I either get REALLY high, like incredibly high where I can’t talk or look at someone without laughing. Or not high at all, which is a rookie move. I never go out of my way to do it, just occasionally when someone offers.

To this point I never really considered becoming a weed smoker. But with all these advances in weed technology and how socially acceptable it’s all become, plus this quarantine, I’m thinking I should become a stoner.

Why do I want to become a stoner? I’ll tell you why – for YOU!

If I started writing high blog posts they’d be a hit! I have no idea what they’d be about, I don’t even have any ideas for them, but they’d be better than what I’m writing now. Maybe I’ll unlock some creative treasure chest in my brain that’s just been hidden all these years. Or maybe I’ll turn gay like 4chan says. Who knows!

I’m sure some of my readers have gone from my current position to partial smokers. How much am I going to benefit? Will I become addicted and ruin my life like Mrs. Klaus said would happen in elementary school?

Here’s to feelin’ good all the time.