Harrison turned 6 months earlier this week. This post is for me more than anyone else, but here are 6 thoughts for the 6 months that Harrison has been alive.
#1. The Joy is Real
This is cliche but I have to lead with it. The joy you get from the good moments with your kid are unlike anything else. I knew I wanted kids. I believed everything everyone said about how happy they can make you. But it’s hard to put it into words until you experience it. It takes a few months, but once they actually have a personality and can smile, laugh, etc. it’s easy to understand the hype.
What I can’t wrap my head around is what it will be like as he gets older. We went crazy when he laughed for the first time, or rolled over. But I don’t know what it will be like when he’s playing sports, or in school, or interacting with friends, etc. I imagine there’s a purity of the ‘baby’ phase, but as the stakes get raised, I’d think it’s even cooler when they do new or impressive things.
#2. Raising a Kid is HARD
The other cliche. WHY is it so hard? It’s hard because often times they hit you when you’re at your weakest. You’re desperately hoping for reprieve after a bad night of sleep and a long day of work, and that’s when they won’t go to sleep. And you want to get mad, or cry, or express defeat in some way, but you can’t. Because you’re the adult.
It’s important to remember that the baby is NOT crying just to piss you off, even if it feels like they are in that moment. I try to frame it as Harrison needs me in those moments, not that he’s against me. Keeping that in mind makes it just slightly less frustrating when he’s giving us a hard time.
#3. “My Baby is the Cutest”
This is something people say, that all babies are cute but theirs is the cutest.
I objectively think Harrison is the cutest baby in the world. When I see other babies around his age I think they’re all hideous. Half joking. But there is a specific cuteness to your baby that no other baby has. So when people say their baby is the cutest, they are speaking their truth. It’s also why they’ll take 1000 pictures. It seems excessive, but it’s more justified in my mind now than before.
#4. Free Time is Limited
I don’t run much, I play chess in short bursts, we barely watch movies or shows anymore, and we haven’t gone out to dinner together since he’s been born (though that will change next weekend!). There just isn’t a lot of time to do stuff when we’re both working full time.
This bullet point is the one that makes people say “I don’t want kids“. Do I understand that? Of course! But what can I say, making sacrifices is part of the deal. Though I will say, for the past month or so, we’ve been putting him to sleep around 7pm and get an hour or two to ourselves each night which has been game changing.
#5. Everyone Reacts to Babies Differently
This is something I never thought about before having a kid. Some people love babies. They pick up Harrison up like he’s their own kid. They play games, say funny things, try to make him laugh, etc. and it’s great.
Then some people clearly haven’t dealt with babies ever. They don’t want to hold him (which is fine with me), they don’t know what to say to him, and they all around would prefer he not be there (which is also fine with me). This was me before Laura had Jude. I was never around babies and just didn’t know what to do with them, so no hard feelings.
#6. We Couldn’t Do This Without Help
Specifically, Harrison’s grandmothers. My mom watches Harrison twice during the week and Meg’s mom once. It is a lot to ask of them, but he hasn’t scared them off so far. Now I realize, for the most part, they want to take care of him. It’s a real purpose and bonding experience that is irreplaceable.
You realize that in millenniums past, one couple with full time jobs didn’t raise a baby. Families stayed together and everyone helped out everyone else. This makes sense to me now, and the way we do it today is freakin’ hard. I couldn’t imagine living in a different city without any family or close friends nearby and trying to raise a baby. It would be impossible, and for nearly all of human history wasn’t even an option. We will be forever indebted to our parents (for much more than just watching our kids), and will pay it forward when we’re grandparents.
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