I was pitched by Silicon Valley tech sales people the other day and I’m certain they are taught to say “good question!” and it’s infuriating to me as the buyer. I’m not sure who taught them this but I imagine it goes like this:

Sales Teacher: Most buyers are uncertain that they are making a good buying decision. Reassure them that they are not a dumbass by telling them their dumb question is a great question..

I don’t need reassurance that I’m not a dumbass. I already know I am and you’re not tricking me that easily. All it shows me is that you’re a perjuring piece of shit. During this particular Zoom pitch I wanted to stop the guy and say, “you’ve never heard that question before? At this job where your company raised $350 million, and where you pitch dozens of people a day, a lowly 1150 SAT Pittsburgh finance graduate is asking you whether your checkout plugin will mess with other WordPress plugins and you think that’s a good question?” Please.

I’ve also noticed that the phrase “I understand…” is used when the client is telling you why they think your product is going to suck. It’s quite a disarming phrase if you’ve never encountered it before. I’m ranting how I think they’re going to steal my money and they come back with “I understand you think we are going to steal your money.” Well shit. I guess there’s no point of continuing the point now that you understand. I’m not trying to beat a dead horse.

These are 101 sales tactics that people who have been in business for a long time see through. For the most part, I can overlook these nuances if the product is going to work and know I’m talking to a manufactured robot sales person. What the better sales person does is doesn’t mess with these techniques. A quality sales person doesn’t need to bullshit if they know their product is going to work. If it works for the application, you tell them it’s going to work, take it or leave it. When people start using these ploys, then you start questioning if you’re being sold a bag of shit. I’ll let you know how this tech product turns out.