We revisit that teenage awkwardness when women and boobs in a movie was top priority. I don’t believe this post would be written after the internet desensitized America. A main characteristic of whether a movie was good in those days was did it have boobs or nipples? Titanic shattered box office #’s because Kate Winslett showed a boob. Actual sex scenes were an after thought because Spice was blocked and only a derelict would risk having a pay movie come up on their parent’s bill. You played with the material that was given and studios were well aware that sex sells. I could have chosen from hundreds and I narrowed it down to 4. Add yours in the comments.
4. Deuce Bigalow – Bree Nicole Turner (Sea Snails)
Wet t-shirt boobs are better than almost any type of boob. It helped that Alison was attractive and was played into doing it for this scene. You’d think she’d be a bit more careful not to let her melons touch the water, but she had to do her job! Frankly, this movie was mediocre and it’s amazing Rob Schneider was able to find work for as long as he did. I’ll reference the Animal as another bad movie I didn’t see but had Colleen from Survivor who I found oddly hot. Rob Schneider is the poor man’s David Spade who is another poor rich nerd. I can’t be too upset though, because I would have done the same.
3. Out Cold – Victoria Silvstedt
Zach Galifianakis and Victoria Silvstedt, playmate of the year, team up for this funny scene. Spoiler, it ends with Zach getting his wanger caught in a jet. I was going to use the Baseketball scene which features Victoria and “I forgot how much Doug Reemer cares about kids!” Out Cold is an underrated movie and they were smart to bring in Victoria for some sex appeal. She epitomized the Swedish blonde bimbo and was never shy about taking off her clothes. In the days when Playboy was popular, she made millions.
2. Austin Powers – Alotta Fagina
Alotta Fagina had big jugs and had that foreign appeal. The shadow scene was glorious as a kid and you’d hope there’d be a nip slip in the hot tub (there wasn’t). She truly had flotation devices and teenagers didn’t miss this. Elizabeth Hurley had the better sex appeal in this movie though. Her scenes had more tact and this movie didn’t pretend that its females weren’t there for the attention. I was going to use the Bedazzled devil scene with Liz but it doesn’t fit my theme which doesn’t go after the main squeeze.
1. Romeo and Juliet – Olivia Hussey
This woman was 17 in this movie so in no way am I sexualizing her role. However, I watched Romeo and Juliet when I was a junior in high school (16) and thought that she was the hottest girl on planet earth. The movie art for this made no mistake that they were pushing up her chances of success. Even more intriguing for this post is that Olivia Hussey, who played Juliet, was raped in the house that Sharon Tate was murdered in! What the fuck? I’m not even sure how you live in the house that was made famous by Charles Manson 5 months after the murder happened. The perils of being a child star.
Honorable Mentions – Sarah Michelle Gellar & Reese Witherspoon in Cruel Intentions was the make out movie of the decade. I’ll pick JLH in Can’t Hardly Wait every time. I would have used her for this list but there’s not really a scene in particular in that movie and I didn’t want to I Know What You Did Last Summer when she was in the rain. The sex scene in Eurotrip with Mika is great but too easy. Sorry if this post is NSFW, but I do my best to be aware.