John Candy is 100% Photoshopped into that feature image. This scene is fairly powerful if you consider that his dad is coming to take him off of an OLYMPIC team…assuming this was reality.

Cool Runnings is a quality movie. 76% on Rotten Tomatoes which is about right. It was a bit odd to read about the story being made up for certain aspects, specifically none of the trainers were ever caught cheating, they weren’t disliked and outcasts as portrayed, and this is the best part of it all:

While the Jamaicans did crash their bobsled on their fourth and final run, the film implied the team was a medal contender, having run a world record pace prior to the crash. In reality, they were in 24th place (out of 26) after their first run was completed in 58.04. Their second run was completed in 59.37, which was the next-to-worst time (25th). On the third run, they had the worst time (1:03.19, good for 26th place), which was almost five seconds behind the 25th fastest run. Of the 103 runs that were completed in the four-man competition, nobody else posted a time over one minute. So going into the final run, the Jamaicans were in 26th (last) place with a cumulative time of 3:00.60 after three runs. This placed them 3.23 seconds behind Portugal for 25th place, and 10.19 seconds behind the USSR team that was in third-place heading into the final run. They would have had to complete a world-record shattering time under 48.00 seconds to bring home a medal.

So why do I reference Cool Runnings for this post? For no other reason other than it the title corresponds to what I have to deal with Trash Day every Friday. I also make you read to get to a better part of this post.

This is what my street looks like:

There are probably 15 houses on this street and each Friday we put out the trash and recyclables. The recyclables come at about 8am. The trash guys at 9am. I’m there for the trash guys about 0% of the time. So the trash guys dump the trash, then put the can back without the lid. When I get back from work at 4 or so, 50% of the time there is a bag of shit waiting for me in the trash can.

I took this last week as I was fortunate that someone didn’t leave their dog’s shit in my can. Here’s why I decided to post this. At 4pm, on a Friday, you’d expect there to be other people’s cans on the street out so that a passing pooper would have their option on which can to throw it in. HOWEVER, there never is. I swear these people either don’t work at all or all work from home. Where are the days where people left work at 5pm?

The picture above shows the street when I arrived home. You can make out 1 other poor sap’s trash can. These people all know what happens when you leave your can out and they must purposely wait to bring it in to avoid having a steaming pile of shit in their can for a whole week. I like it when the trash guy’s throw my can upside down because people won’t go out of their way to turn it over and throw it in the can. That’s where the line is drawn. If that can is turned up though without a lid, fair game.

Suburbanites don’t have this problem (I’d imagine). People in the city are disrespecting, littering, selfish, dog-walking, son of bitches. Just wanted to write a post about what you’re missing.