No one likes the guy who says “Oh your favorite cheesesteak is X? Hahahhaha that place fucking sucks you idiot. Y is the best cheesesteak in the city and it’s not even close, you’ve probably never had it, or if you did not the right way.”

That being said, I’m going to give my cheesesteak opinions after the one I had last night. I almost always order American with onions. Bullet points are easy to digest. Here goes.

The Good

• I had Angelo’s last night and I would say it’s the best cheesesteak I’ve ever had. It had a lot of hype and it absolutely delivered. FEATURE. PIC. RELATED.
• John’s Roast Pork is the second best I’ve ever had, though I’ve only had it once and it was in the car for 15 minutes prior, so maybe it needs a second chance.
• Steve’s on Bustleton is really really good. I had their Center City one a dozen times and loved it but was mostly hammered, but had the Bustleton one recently and it was still excellent.
• Sonny’s in Old City is criminally underrated and a great option for showing someone what a cheesesteak is if you’re touring Old City.
• Tony Luke’s is very good, though not practical unless you’re at South Bowl.
• Carmen’s in Redding Terminal is worthy, but there’s so much other good stuff there that it’s kind of forgotten about.
• Oh Brother (right next to Sonny’s) is solid if it’s really late and you’re hammered.

The Bad

• Pat’s and Geno’s are actually bad. They’re not great. They’re not good. Frankly they’re not even worth mentioning, but for now I have to. I’ve had both multiple times in the last 12 months and they are horribly underwhelming. If I was a tourist, I would wonder what the fuck was so great about cheesesteaks if I had one of these. I don’t know if that’s recent and they’ve become lazy because everyone knows them, but woof, do not bother.
• Jim’s on 4th burned down but I tried it twice years apart and both times were incredibly disappointing.
• Campos (next to Sonny’s) is unremarkable.
• Del Rossi’s is meh and too expensive.
• I can’t even comment on Dalessandro’s because I had it once five years ago and the parking / ordering process are such a turnoff.

If you disagree with any of these you are wrong.