Here’s my current POWER RANKINGS of the lamest sports injuries I’ve suffered:

5. Broken finger during the only pick up basketball game I’d played in five years.
4. Stress fracture in my back from running too much.
3. Getting knocked unconscious during 2nd grade basketball practice when a teammate’s pass hit me in face.
2. Straining* my shoulder due to too much ping pong at Frankfort Hall.
1. Twisting my ankle on a bowling throw because I somehow slipped into the left gutter.

*self diagnosis

But this weekend may top the list.

I went golfing at Linfield with Jeff, Ryder, and Pat. I was playing bad until the 12th hole when I got a THIRTEEN on a par 5 which included three duffs, four sand shots, and a three putt.

I continued playing poorly until the 16th hole when I duffed my drive off the tee. I was pissed so I insta-retee’d and hit another bad drive. In a fit of rage, I wound up and threw my driver as far as I could. I meant to throw it straight down the fairway, but even my throwing-drives were inaccurate and I launched it into the woods to our left.

The second I let it go, I knew I hurt my thumb. And not just like, ‘it’s fine I’ll play through it‘ injured, but like, ‘guys I actually can’t finish the round‘ injured. I was full of self-pity.

A couple days later and it still hurts. I’m not sure of many less-cool ways to get hurt while playing sports.