I’ve washed my hands for the 53rd time today. That makes 7,341 since the beginning of quarantine. The flesh has worn completely off and now it’s like rubbing sticks together to start a fire. I’ve heard rumors that on the 10,000th wash your hands grow a 6th and 7th finger. Talk about evolution.
Rations have gotten slim since every supermarket has closed. I get super excited on Wednesday night, which is ring fingernail night, that I’d finally fill my belly. Index fingernail night just doesn’t do it for me the way it once did. Harold, next door, has resorted to eating his shit. I haven’t shit in 10 days.
The TV ads are still telling people “STAY INSIDE”. No one listens anymore. Feels like a government conspiracy at this point. Like they messed up and have unleashed this virus on the population. Even the propaganda from the people feels staged. They’ve moved into this multi-million dollar ads with high end actors. Last night I saw Agent J battling an alien while explaining the dangers of the virus. I’m not sure they are even trying anymore.
ESPN has gotten desperate in their lineup of games from the past. Last night they used my 1994 intramural game as the 74th best game from the state of Pennsylvania in the month of January. I was honored, but I get the feeling people stopped watching long ago. Not even my mother commented on this achievement.
I stepped outside today and the sun singed my eyebrows. I’m beginning to worry that human’s lack of pollution is starting to turn up the temperature and create a serious global warming effect. Average temperature has gotten to be 120 degrees and it’s only a matter of time before disintegration occurs. I’m actually looking forward to that.
But it’s not all so bad. Even though the internet companies stopped working a month ago, I’ve been typing away. No one will ever read this and that’s ok. As long as my brain hasn’t gone to mush, I’m not sure what else would be radically different. Sure it sucks, but natural selection waits for no one. The stupid get wiped out and the rest will carry on. Carry on. Carry on.
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