This weekend I went to Pittsburgh with Meghan for one of her best friend’s wedding’s. I’d only met one of her friends prior as well as her parents, but everyone else at the wedding was a new face.

Not only that, but Meghan was IN the wedding, so I knew I’d have time where I was a bit on my own.

There are a couple of ways to approach the wedding as the new guy meeting everyone:

• Only speak when spoken to, go to the bathroom a lot, look at your phone a lot, don’t cause any trouble, stand on the outside of the dance circle if you’re even on the dance floor. Low floor, low ceiling.
• Don’t avoid contact but not really starting conversations, chat up her friends when you can, blend in on the dance floor a la Hitch. Medium floor, medium ceiling.
• Drink early, drink often, be social, and dance like no one is watching. Low floor, high ceiling.

Going into it I didn’t have much of a plan other than the classic ‘be yourself‘. That said, I started off somewhere between options 2 and 3 and ended up fully at option 3.

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Meghan did a good job prepping me on who her friends were, but things got off to a rocky start when I realized I forgot my belt 20 minutes before the shuttle was picking everyone up from the hotel. I sprinted to the car, drove to Michael’s, bought a belt, and ran back into the hotel lobby sweating. It was there that I saw some of Meghan’s friends for the first time. Though they recognized me, I ignored them since we hadn’t been introduced yet and I only had about 8 minutes to get dressed.

Once we arrived at the ceremony I took my mom’s advice and tried to “be the best boyfriend” I could be. I was getting people drinks, making small talk with friends, taking pictures of couples, etc. It was going great actually. My personal favorite was the guy saying he “didn’t know” his Warzone KD.

My individual performance peaked when we were all dancing and Renegade by Styx came on (apparently Pittsburgh thing). I was pretty drunk at this point and my first instinct was “Oh fuck yeah this is a jam!“. Everyone else’s reaction was “Hmm, not sure I know this one so I’ll sit it out.“.

The dance circle kind of cleared out until me and a guy with a Peaky Blinder’s haircut pretty much took over the show. I mean, I’m not gonna NOT dance to Renegade. So for three minutes him and I went absolutely hammer while everyone watched.

This was the low floor, high ceiling aspect. Some may have taken my performance as “this guy is way too drunk and trying way too hard“. But as Meghan said, I actually had some good dance moves, so it was pretty well received.

I ended up being a little too sauced and needing to sit down later in the night (that’s putting it nicely). Seeing everyone the following day after a night like that is slightly nerve wracking but I was so hungover that I didn’t really mind.

All in all though, her friends are cool and it was nice that they didn’t judge me too hard. If we’re married in five years her friends will look back at that wedding saying “Wow Sam really had some balls, I love that guy!” and if we’re broken up they’ll say “Remember that time Meghan brought that guy to Kelly’s wedding who forgot his belt and was wasted dancing to Renegade? Thank god he’s gone“.

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P.S. An hour into the drive home I made Meghan pull over then puked horribly in a sewer on the highway. Total classic.