This post has a WILD twist at the end so you should read it. I intended to write about my long standing 5000m indoor track school record at the one and only Ursinus College (go bears). The post was going to be something like this:
Once in a blue moon someone will text me a picture of the Ursinus indoor track school records board (above), which I am somehow still on.
In 2011, as a sophomore at Ursinus, I ran 15:36.70 at the indoor conference championship meet to finish 12th place (5 seconds AHEAD of future 5000m national champ Chris Stadler). For some reason, we didn’t maintain a school record for the indoor 5000m, and he-who-shall-not-be-named decided that my time was good enough. From 2011 until now, somehow, not one Ursinus runner has run faster for an indoor 5000m than I did on that day.
Then I was going to deep dive the IAAF tables and compile all the records into a sheet and sort them from top to bottom by IAAF points to show how pathetic my time was compared to these other, legitimate records.
You’ll see names like Drew Mackin with an actual, impressive record, worthy of a conference champion and NCAA qualifier. Then you’ll see mine, which was worthy of 12th place in 2011. Is it a humblebrag? Yes and no, but since it’s been almost 15 years now and the time really isn’t that good, it’s warranted.
I’ve begged coach to have someone run the indoor 5000m faster because that time is so slow for a school record (though obviously, I like having my name on that board). There have been probably 10 athletes capable over the last decade, some could’ve tempo’d it, but for some reason, it never happened.
As you can tell, I was GOING TO write al that. But now I’m not. And the REASON I’m not going to is because, as I’ve found out just 10 minutes ago, I’ve been RETRO-CUCKED. Below is the CURRENT LIST of Ursinus school records.
I’m in shock. This is NOT how records are meant to be broken! The real question is can I still use “I held a school record for over 10 years” as my Ursinus ice breaker? I’m going to be made a fool if any of the 5 people I’ve told that to check that board now and see a name from 1990. A fool!
Dont worry – I’ll still tell everyone i meet how fast you are
Dean Lent, the creator of the record board, made up those times based on his memory. Don’t believe anything from the late 80’s / early 90’s. Look how generic the times are: 1000M… 2:30! but add .20 to make it look legit. 1500M… 4:00! but add .10 to make it look legit.