I’m not a dog person, they seem like too much responsibility.

Recently I’ve gotten into the same encounter like five times and it’s one of my least favorite things that happen with dogs: The dog starts taking a shit and I make eye contact with the owner.

I hate this. What do I do! I’m catching eyes with this 60 year old bag of bones while her dog is taking a diarrhea on the sidewalk and all I’m thinking is “there’s no way she can adequately clean that up!”

I usually end up staring at the dog while it’s shitting which is classic. The poor guy is just sitting there looking around like “Don’t mind me! Definitely nothing going on over here!

I can’t imagine being the person walking the dog when that happens. You just fumble around with the plastic bag until the shit is out.

Then you have to carry the poop around and not wash your hands until you’re home! “Where’s the trash can!” I guess Covy and Melon take shits in the wide open of my living room but that just seems so much more… delicate than a dog ass blasting all over the street like it’s a Rolling Stones concert.