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Worries About Fecal Matter

January 30, 2019

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Worries About Fecal Matter

Last Saturday was a rehearsal dinner for the Wads and Jade. Since I’ve been friends with the family for a very long time, I know almost all the people there so it’s a comfortable situation. There was one girl there who didn’t know me too well and we had an awkward conversation.

The bathroom situation was 3 or 4 individual doors which is usually appealing over the herd type of toilets. Unfortunately, people must either have been or old or all taking shits because the doors were locked most of the time. So I’m standing outside and say hello to this girl and she says hello back. A door opens, I enter, take a piss, and walk out and she’s still waiting for another door. I walk by her with my pint glass and she says, “are you going to drink that?” Odd question I thought. “Do you want it?” She said, “You took it in the bathroom with you. You aren’t going to drink that, right?” I was dumbfounded at this point. “What do you mean?” “Fecal matter.” “Uhhh…yeah…I’m drinking it.”

So I told the tale to a doctor at the party and he told me that people overreact to everything nowadays. The body is stronger than people think and there’s nothing to worry about. Even without his affirmation, do you know how many pint glasses has entered the bathroom with me? I could conservatively say 1,000. Do you know how many times it has entered my brain that fecal matter may be lingering in the air and swarming my pint glass? 0.

The point of this post is that could this person be right? Possibly. However, we share different view points on life. I’m more of a germaphobe than you may think. I’ll wash my hands every time I leave the bathroom even if I prop my dick out of my boxers without touching it. But air germs are not going to alter my life. Especially if it prevents me from drinking my beer.

The wedding is this Friday and hopefully there will be some good stories coming out of it.

This will be a told you so first as well. This song is great and I went back and listened to other tracks from the band and they are also great. Just a heads up.

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