In 2018 my neighbor stole $40 from me (I got it back).

In 2021 an anonymous neighbor stole my Yankee Candles from our lobby.

In 2023 I did the PETTIEST thing I’ve ever done in a parking war with a different neighbor.

And now, in 2026, we have a new entry to the neighbor drama!

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Our current neighbors are a nice couple from Eastern Europe with a ~7 year old son. We’ve exchanged basic pleasantries. He let me borrow his snow shovel one time. It was nice.

A month ago on a Saturday they were playing LOUD music from 10pm – 1am. This hadn’t happened before. We moved to our guest room to avoid the noise and Harrison didn’t wake up so we chalked it up to a one-off.

Over the past few weeks we’ve heard them playing loud music randomly during the week, but not at night. At least until last night…

At 8pm the music was so egregiously loud as I watched the Sixers that I went over and knocked on their door. The guy answered and I asked politely if he could turn it down. There were maybe 15 people there and a few young kids so I figured things would wrap up after dinner. He turned it down (a little bit).

We went to sleep and around 11:15pm both Meg and I woke up to music. It wasn’t BLASTING, but it was loud enough to hear and made falling asleep difficult. At midnight I went over and knocked on the front door. No answer. I rang the bell and knocked harder. No answer.

At this point, I was pretty annoyed. I could see into the house; the lights were on and the music was loud. I went to the back yard to his patio where I knocked on his back door. The lights were on but the room was oddly empty. To my surprise, his 7 year old son and his friend opened the back door (why are they up this late??). Literally no one else was in the room. I said “Can you turn off the music“. He seemed scared, like he’d just gotten in trouble, and said “Yes“.

I went back to bed telling Meg and thinking it was strange that only the kids were there. Was it really just them playing the music at this point?

Two minutes later OUR front door bell rings. It’s my neighbor.

For context, he’s probably 6 feet tall, tatted, and kind of jacked with a thick accent. This was not ideal. His wife, fortunately, also came outside and was watching from her front step

He started off a little hot. He was mad that I spoke to his son and said if I did it again, we’d be having a different type of talk. I understand where he’s coming from, it’s weird to have your son talk to a stranger at midnight, but I told him I knocked on the front multiple times and no one answered so what else should I do? We told him the music was too loud. He said it’s Saturday night and he’s just chilling with his friends, what’s the problem? We said that’s fine, but the music is too loud. I asked for his phone number so we could text him instead of having to knock. He acknowledged we have a young kid, and that he tries to be a good neighbor, but was still mad that I spoke to his son.

We left it at that.

I think he turned down the music after that but A) I start hearing phantom noises when I’m listening too hard for them and B) that was more adrenaline than I’m used to for 12:30 at night so we didn’t get back to sleep very quickly.

I texted him this morning explaining the situation, apologizing saying I should’ve asked for him instead of talking directly to his son, and that we want to be on good terms with them, but that the music was too loud.

It’s been an hour and he hasn’t texted back.

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In all of this there’s an element of… for lack of a better term, the ‘man of the house‘ dynamic. The music was loud. We’re adults and couldn’t sleep. It’s my responsibility to go over and tell him to turn it down, which I tried to do.

He then feels his man-of-the-house responsibility after his son comes to him and says the neighbor just yelled at him. So he marches over to show he’s not fucking around either. He probably felt like I was a pussy and that he was going to set me straight. And I think because of his physical stature and how he handled it, he’s used to sort of ‘winning’ those conflicts.

I’m not a confrontational person. I give the benefit of the doubt often. If someone cuts me off or budges me in line, I’m apt to say “whatever” and continue living my life. But in this situation, I do feel a bit of don’t-back-down is necessary. I’m too old to tolerate a guy playing music and keeping Meg and I up just to avoid an uncomfortable conversation. Fear cannot be the primary driver of the decisions here.

I’m not saying this is some pivotal moment of my life, but more that 10 years ago I probably wouldn’t have said anything. There’s a way to handle the situation that isn’t over-the-top aggressive, but also isn’t just getting walked all over. Respect is important!

If anything CRAZY happens I will follow up, but for now I’m eagerly awaiting a text back.