by Tom Stortz | Dec 29, 2025 | General |
On 11/13, I was hot. I was up $4,000 since 11/2 and my gambling account had over $5,000 in it. When I opened my DraftKings account, I wanted people to see how smart I was. Winning does that—it makes you want an audience. On the 16th, I lost a $1,200 bet on the Chiefs...
by Tom Stortz | Dec 24, 2025 | General |
It’s 9:12 a.m. and I’ve already made breakfast, lost four games of chess, set my two teams for the fantasy championship, worked out, and started writing a blog post. This is exactly what I’d do every day if I didn’t have a job. Once I finish this, I’ll check in on...
by Tom Stortz | Dec 22, 2025 | General |
Here’s an excerpt from a post written by me in 2008. Typos left in. So it’s 2am and I’m not tired so let me hit the blackjack tables. I join a table by myself and a couple of people join. Some fairly attracted “actress” from LA who I was...
by Sam Stortz | Dec 17, 2025 | General |
Buckle up. This is a story. PART 1 – Convince Me with Authority, Documentation, and Information I received the following phone call today: Hello this is Lt. Tim Campbell with the Bucks County Sheriff’s Office, is this Mr. Sam Stortz? Not a great start. I...
by Tom Stortz | Dec 17, 2025 | General |
This Monday I had jury duty in Philadelphia. I promise my story won’t be as good as Sam’s, but it does involve weather incompetence, civic theater, and a sandwich incident. Jury duty was delayed two hours due to weather, which apparently didn’t reach about 50 people...
by Sam Stortz | Dec 15, 2025 | General |
I don’t post much about Trump despite having strong opinions on him. In short: He doesn’t bother to disguise his corruption, hypocrisy, narcissism, and just generally being a bad person which has somehow worked in his favor, as everyone is numb to his...
by Tom Stortz | Dec 12, 2025 | General |
New to Newtown, I need a real gym. The one in my complex isn’t cutting it – barely any equipment, and I managed to hurt my knee the first time I stepped on their treadmill. I’m not risking it again on that rinky-dink piece of shit. There is a first-class, very...
by Sam Stortz | Dec 10, 2025 | General |
Let me tell you a story. In June of 2023, fresh off a brilliant Broad Street Run, I was due to purchase new running shorts. For over a decade I’d primarily run in Eastbay shorts. In fact, I have an Eastbay receipt from 2014 where I spent $7.99 per pair. But this...
by Tom Stortz | Dec 9, 2025 | General |
11+ years ago I went to Europe for the first time. I remember walking off the plane and thinking, “I’m in Germany…it doesn’t seem as different as I expected.” This was my post back from 2014. Reading it now, I laugh at how it was me doing...
by Tom Stortz | Dec 4, 2025 | General |
As a handyman, I’m a solid 5+. I can build desks and assemble shitty IKEA furniture. I’ve hammered thousands of handles onto brick hammers and ground thousands of rippers. But I’m not a tradesman – I don’t work with my hands every day in a way that makes me a...
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