I took this title from a song by Depeche Mode released in 1990. It’s also the autobiography of Richard Blade who is a DJ on First Wave channel 33. I still listen to First Wave, but not nearly as much as I did. When it was Jeff and I at work, it didn’t bother me as much to only annoy Jeff because it’s technically a 1v1 vote. Now with Sam, I can be overridden and turn company morale south. As such, I generally control the music we listen to because I have the subscription to Sirius which I switch between Lithium, Spectrum, and Alt Nation. If we didn’t do that, Sam would play the Truth for the umpteenth time and Jeff veers towards the Alt scene. Gotta get the balance right. It’s painful that reference will get understood by zero people.
What else is there to say aside from pointless music rambling? When I was 25 I didn’t know what a career was. Now it’s consuming me. I’m not complaining either. I just didn’t see it coming. It tends to creep up. The more you prove that you almost know what you’re doing, the more people want to work with you.
So that’s part of the reason I haven’t been posting as often. I surprisingly get nice comments on posts by people who I still can’t believe read these sites. I’ve written thousands of posts in my life and most have found the doldrums of the internet. It’s a bit disheartening to continue as such, but I won’t give up because writing is an outlet.
Which is a somewhat odd premise because I’ve talked to many people before who share similar perspectives. They’ll say, “I wish I had more time to spend writing.” That’s funny to me. I won’t be publishing any books. This blog gets 100 people a day combined between Sam and I. Writing is not my forte. In fact Photoshop, learning languages, playing chess, running, reading, and a list of 100 other activities are also not my forte. That’s why the aging process gets tougher because you start to see your place a little clearer and how much noise there is around you. It’s not that I don’t like posting on this site. I only don’t have that many thoughts that in my opinion are purposeful.
I used to spend my time writing about our bowling league. I even maintained a separate website that detailed write ups every week. The bottom line? 10 people read it. I would get an occasional person to tell me they like it. That’s why I did it. When you look at the numbers though, should I spend an hour of my life so 1 person can tell me they enjoyed it week to week? I honestly don’t know. That’s the struggle. I know for a fact there are many people who don’t do any type of work without being paid. To me that’s ludicrous. Giving back is a way of fulfillment. I’ve always thought that I wanted to make enough to give back and I’m starting to see some fruits of labor. Let’s hope that continues. So I can get more free time for writing.